adamusprime:

here’s what’s gonna happen in my life

i will do well in comedy

perform at colleges and clubs across the nation

i finally get my big break: a comedy central presents special!

i go on stage

tell my first joke

crowd: “birbiglia”

what?  weird i had never heard that one

next joke

crowd: “hedberg”

no…no that can’t be right

let’s just keep going

“mirman”

“black”

“barry”

i spiral into madness and walk in front of a bus

Carlos Mencia, is that you?

*ducks*